the end of year blues

Why can't January just be January and the new year a new year

December has been a crazy busy month for me. I finished my first semester of university, I traveled back home for the break, I had my wisdom teeth removed (ouch), and I rarely got a minute to just pause and breathe. But it’s December 28th as I write this, and the new year is approaching faster than I’d like.

Where did 2024 go? What’s going to happen in 2025? There is this pressure to reflect and recap in order to reevaluate and reinvent yourself for the new year. People on the internet are going crazy with their vision boards and innovative challenges for the month of January and beyond at the moment. And I’m not saying I don’t buy into it—I’ve already made my vision board for next year—but I notice there are a lot of expectations to act on so many things at once. So much so that it becomes stressful, and if you’re not participating, you’re less than (or something like that). None of this might make sense to you, but personally, this whole idea around “new year, new me” is terrifying to me.

If I don’t come up with some elaborate plan to be a whole new person by the end of January, does that mean I’ve failed? Failed at what exactly, even? It evokes a feeling of resentment in me. Resentment towards myself, mostly, but also towards everyone who pushes this agenda of reinvention and self-reflection in the last few days of the year. Why don’t we let this be a time of relaxation and enjoyment. Why does January 1st have to be the day I am reborn or some shit like that. It makes the endings and beginnings of the year more stressful when there are all these ideas, expectations, and conditions attached to them.

That’s why the “end of year blues” is an actual thing (I googled it before titling this post.) It describes a feeling of shame and melancholy we can experience around this time, and I have to say, that’s where I’m at. Whether or not you’re feeling it too, I guess the reason I wanted to write about this is to make myself feel better—also because I missed writing—but mostly to say that it’s okay if you are <3 We live in a society that constantly motivates you to keep pushing forward and change which is great, but I’m here to tell you that it’s normal and good to also just sit with yourself for a while and ignore outside voices telling you to be this or that.

I decided not to do any major reflections or make plans for 2025. My head was elsewhere these past few days, and I think that’s a good thing. So maybe go offline for a bit and see how that makes you feel. If you can shake the blues, great! And if not, that’s fine, too. Just remember to be compassionate with yourself. Not having new years resolutions because they’re intimidating is okay. Not losing weight in January is normal. The internet is oversaturated with what I’ll call “transformation content”. It makes for often times unrealistic goals and you’re setting yourself up for potential disappointment. Just be present at this time and enjoy the presence of your loved ones during the holiday season and approach the new year with an open mind.

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I haven’t really had the time to write this entire month, but I’m glad I was able to carve out some time this morning to do one last short piece before the year ends reflecting on my headspace. I guess I just wanted this to be out there in case any of you are feeling the same at the moment. You’re not alone. And thanks for reading my little ramble.

On a lighter note, I can’t believe I started my Substack only two months ago, and I already have over 100 subscribers! I can’t even put into words how grateful I am. If you’re here reading this, thank you endlessly. Feel free to let me know how you’re doing in the comments. And as always, if you liked it: share it, repost it, or just leave a little love. Thank you from the bottom of my heart <3